List of everything wrong with the story and why it's silly, making little to no sense

PROLOUGUE:

-The couple could not have possibly ignored the large terrifying voice

-There was no reason for the cave to close in with a loud thud. Softly and silently may have been creepier and suited towards the atmosphere.

-Tulip is so creepy, how can its eyes "glow with satisfaction"??!

 

CHAPTER ONE

-The picture is rain but the chapter starts out sunny and all good

-"Raining Elephants and Killer Whales". Just.... no.

-How did the envelope go directly into Lymphical's hands? I know it's the author's powers and all, but he has to make mistakes sometime!

-What? The fire is so random

-Why the heck does Lymphical have to search for 30 minutes in his closet? It can't be that big.

-"I hope it doesn’t rain for 40 days and 40 nights..." I get the Noah's ark reference, but you don't have to refer to the bible in such a situation.

-Why the heck is the water magical??

 

CHAPTER TWO:

-What the heck? Candy bodyguards?

-The Fire Saver....nope, it's just a pot as I know it

-Lymphical's hands wuold be burnt off from holding the Fire for such a long time -.-

-Traveling with cowboys? How did the professor meet with the cowboy in the first place?

-Why are the Candy people afraid of fire?

-He's a professor...how does he have the psysic capability to kick down the door of a castle?

-Beautiful alluring girl is the villain.

-The villain is so stupid, leaving without Franklin. Dumb dumb.

 

CHAPTER THREE:

-Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling.

-How did the villain manage to find the troll to bribe in the first place?

-In this scene Harry is the main character, not anybody else. 

-Fairy dust is very hard to find in Particular land.

-It was so vetoes outside....

-"Let's just hope that the evil guy hasn't tricked him yet".

-Why does Peter Pan bring strangers onto an adventure the immediate second they enter? Does he not want to know all of their names, at the very least?

-Tree vanished. Magic Tree House reference right there.

-Why does everyone meet giants?

-Why can't the author rescue the princess in the chapters he's allowed to use "E"'s? *ahem* This chapter, maybe?

 

CHAPTER FOUR:

-Why don't the characters utilize the birds to get out?

-How the hay did Lacy not notice Lymphical's Fly-o-tron 2000?

-The author chose the worst chapter possible to dive into the story.

-Why is the crowd so mean?

-The author has no reason to not show himself.

-Who is Ang?

-Who is Mr. Lollipop?

-Las Choisi Un is spanish for The Chosen One. You cheater!

 

CHAPTER FIVE:

-Why is Lymphical the Chosen One?

-How did Lymphical master the powers of the crystal in such a short time?

-Why is Tulip not effected by the Crystal?

-Why the f*ck did Lacy suddenly transform into the "good guy"? And why is everyone, the author in particular, buying her random "Transformation"?

-The author is stupid for believing in such a character, or he's trying to help her with the plan so that a twist can come later

-Why do these armies of random people come in?

-The author has terrible memory and bad timing. He could have just apparated there in the first place to begin with.

-Dr. Muskab has a terrible philosophy.

 

CHAPTER SIX:

-If Franklin yelled out something, yet only his first word isn't muted, shouldn't we be unable to hear the rest of his words?

-Lethargic doesn't know his full powers.....so he knows some of his powers?

-Jack Mayonar the singer two chapters ago is a hero now

-Ino T. Ally is more powerful than the author.

-Jack Mayonar is Psuedonymous Bosch for some reason

-Who is this Sushie Heluma? We haven't even solved the problem of Professor Lethargic!

-How does the author not know Smorgasbord's name even though he says it in the passage a few sentences later?

-In fact, even if the mighty author doesn't know his name, at least Ino T. Ally the God should know!

-We don't hear the full story from Smorgasbord.

-Where did we get the mist bombs?

-Why can't the author just go get Angelina (APPARATION) and ask her about the riddle?

-The riddle(s) are stupid and obvious.

-What the heck? Why did the opposing soldiers come in at this time? And couldn't have the author bring in his millions of elite soldiers to break down the door?

-The author's super strength could have broken through the lock/door.

-Lacy randomly comes in just when the story is about to be over

 

CHAPTER SEVEN:

-The introduction does nothing to help Lucy's image. Stealing potato chips? Seriously?

-She having 9 lives is irrelevant to her sister

-We stop asking about the story as soon as she talks about Lucy

-The author is disrespectful to the King

-How does the King have access to anti-hypnotic glasses?

-Earth benders and air benders. Totally not references to Avatar: the last Airbender. 

-We don't need the King's armies, we have those millions of Ino T. Ally's soldiers....speaking of which, did we even return them?

-What the heck is the Glass Box?

-How did we not notice the strange man?

-Why did the strange man immediately give away the King's plan as soon as we landed?

-Why do "We" have to become Amber's caretakers?

 

CHAPTER EIGHT:

-Why is Amber so sadistic?

-Why does Amber not respectful to the author? Amber's life is practically in the author's hands.

-Angelina is terrible at being a caretaker.

-Why didn't Angelina call out for Goodwin/me earlier?

-Who is Lucy's unforementioned master? We didn't even know she had a master.

-Lucy's hypnotism threat is useless.

-Why is Jack/Mr. Simon so mean to the author/Goodwin?

-Can't the author just make PB sign the paper? -.-

-Couldn't the author with Franklin and Lymphical just beat the sh*t out of Lucy?

-Why does Lucy hate water so much?

-Even if we take the water as symbolism, I still can't believe all her sins are really washed away, and she's really determined to be the good guy

-Random cackle is random.

 

CHAPTER NINE:

-Goodwin makes an unnecessarily dramatic entrance

-How did Sushie kidnap those people, seriously!

-J.K. Rowling, an adult, is asking for a teenager/children's help

-Lymphical goes into the image for no good reason

-Why don't we just go with the easy solutions!! Stupid author.

-Why do the villains fall for the author's trick? Boy they are stupid.

-The Forbidden Portal turns out to be the Forbidden Portals.

-The story is terrible and addled with mistakes upon mistakes, plot holes upon plot holes; you'll get no fans.

-How did my friend disappear into my story?

-Story ends with a unnecessary cliffhanger.

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